Taco is probably the most annoying YA protagonist I’ve ever read. He has the emotional depth of a grain of rice. He uses the word “dingus” at least fifteen times throughout the book, usually per chapter. All he talks about are how happy he is and how he can’t wait to start a family with Maggie. He also can’t comprehend that his actions will have consequences, and that he definitely should’ve worn a condom or used another form of contraception. Did these kids even have sex ed?
This kid also has no filter!
“Maggie and I tried, but we couldn’t stop going at it. Sometimes to hide from people who might feel sad, we climbed into the costume loft behind the auditorium. Sometimes we took our clothes off, mostly so we could try costumes on but also because it was pretty great to get naked.”
“And we did it! It kind of hurt Maggie, which made me worried, but she said it was okay. We fell asleep. Then–wait for it–we did it again! It was great! I couldn’t wait for my broken butt to heal so I could actually move while we were doing it! I mean, so great! Oh my God, I love Maggie. I’m a junkie for her for real!”
I’m going to use another quote from the book to describe how I feel towards Taco:
“‘Just shut up! You shut up!’ Maggie’s head looked like it might totally explode.”
“‘You’re just so full of shit, dude. You kind of make me sick.'”
Maggie, the girl he gets pregnant, is kind of crazy and possessive. It almost makes me feel bad for him. He’s obsessed completely obsessed with her and constantly calls himself a “Maggie junkie.”
Another problem with Taco is that he thinks he can control this pregnancy. In the beginning, Maggie’s parents want her to get an abortion. She tells him that she’s going to get one, and he gets mad. TACO, YOU ARE NOT THE PREGNANT ONE. YOU DO NOT GET A SAY IN THIS, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO MISS A TON OF SCHOOL TO GIVE BIRTH TO THIS BABY, FOR DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS, ECT.
Taco is also one of those people who doesn’t understand that when somebody is depressed, yelling at them to be happy isn’t going to make a difference. As someone who has friends with depression, this pissed me off. I really think Maggie should’ve been seeing a therapist because she is clearly mentally unstable.
“‘You do not want to be dead! Because you’re amazing. You’re smart and good.'”
Let’s take a look at some other hidden gems in this book:
“Okay, that didn’t exactly make sense to me, but that’s good old Darius!”
“‘Why, pie, sky fry,’ Darius said smiling.”
“Zigzag! Zigzag! Super cool. Birds don’t worry.”
So in the end, I did not enjoy this book and the only reason I actually finished it was to see how many times he said dingus.